“Ever since I could remember, I had feared being found wanting. If I did the work I wanted to do, it was certain not to measure up; if I pursued the people I wanted to know, I was bound to be rejected; if I made myself as attractive as I could, I would still be ordinary looking. Around such damages to the ego a shrinking psyche had formed: I applied myself to my work, but only grudgingly; I’d make one move toward people I liked, but never two; I wore makeup but dressed badly. To do any or all of these things well would have been to engage heedlessly with life — love it more than I loved my fears — and this I could not do. What I could do, apparently, was daydream the years away: to go on yearning for “things” to be different so that I would be different.”
“I think the notion of dreaming in a time where we are told that it is foolish, futile or not useful, is one of the most revolutionary things we can do. To have our lives determined by our dreams of a free world–instead of reactions to a state-imposed reality–is one of the most powerful tools of decolonization.”
— Undoing Border Imperialism by Harsha Walia (via lehaaz)
countervisuality 